President’s campaign team reveals slogan for 2024: ‘Make Ukraine Great Again’
Wahsington, DC — Communication is definitely the forte of President Biden’s team. In what many consider to be a genuine stroke of genius, the slogan for the 2024 campaign was revealed to the public: “Make Ukraine Great Again” The campaign…
US Announces $500 Package for East Palestine
The main news today is that the White House authorized a $500 aid package to East Palestine that includes funds to purchase 20 bottles of water, 5 blankets, 20 eggs (!) and that’s it. President Joe Biden has faced increasing…
Bible editor rewrites some offensive passages
London, UK – Britain’s Bible publisher has chosen to finally rewrite the Bible’s many offensive passages. Of course, the entire population applauds this long-awaited decision, which will greatly contribute to its well-being. Today, when we speak of Jesus, we must…
Banker angry with Bitcoin: “Where do I click to create some new ones?”
Accustomed to creating money out of thin air, well-known City of London banker Richie Moonak is very pissed off about Bitcoin. He was kind enough to explain to us in more detail the reason for his annoyance. “Usually, when I…
Biden tells Ukrainians: ‘To win the war, get vaccinated!’
Warsaw, Poland – In a highly anticipated speech, President Biden has outdone himself. today during his visit to Warsaw, Poland. The president of course reminded the world that “to defend peace, we must deliver as many weapons as possible”. Then…
President Biden declared medically fit to sniff children’s hair, among other things
Washington, DC – America held its breath following the medical examination of its beloved president. Fortunately, everyone was able to breathe a deep sigh of relief: the president was declared physically and mentally fit to carry out a series of…
Biden spotted circling in the Oval Office for 3 days straight
Washington, DC – Joe Biden has reportedly been in circles in the Oval Office for nearly 3 days straight, according to a source close to the White House. “He was looking for the exit,” our informant told us. He would…
Pfiser sued by US governement as number of deaths much lower than expected
Washington, D.C. – The government is very disappointed with the performance of Pfiser’s vaccine. He made this known by filing a complaint against the New York-based company. Indeed, it would seem that the contract signed between the 2 parties provided…
Elon Musk responds to an account with 47 followers
San Francisco, California – Elon Musk has gotten so used to replying only to big accounts that Twitter users have forgotten that there are still accounts with fewer followers. Yet it is the majority of Twitter accounts. But large accounts…
The world soon to be ruled by Bill Gates
Geneva, Switzerland – The WHO is currently getting 194 countries around the world to sign legally binding agreements. As the WHO is mainly financed by Bill Gates and he is the one who directs its policy, he therefore becomes responsible…