Washington, DC – America held its breath following the medical examination of its beloved president.

Fortunately, everyone was able to breathe a deep sigh of relief: the president was declared physically and mentally fit to carry out a series of essential tasks.

1/ Sniffing children’s hair. It is very important for the president. To keep him in shape, it’s “his cam”.
2/ Push the nuclear button. The President’s thumb has been tested and he feels “completely ready and even quite eager to push that damn button!”
3/ Lying all day. When the president is in good shape, he is able to consistently state lie after lie. It’s not easy for everyone.
4/ Read his teleprompter, including punctuation.
5/ Eat an ice cream
6/ Shout “Xi Jinping!”

Well done Mr President!