President Biden declared medically fit to sniff children’s hair, among other things
Washington, DC – America held its breath following the medical examination of its beloved president. Fortunately, everyone was able to breathe a deep sigh of relief: the president was declared physically and mentally fit to carry out a series of…
Biden spotted circling in the Oval Office for 3 days straight
Washington, DC – Joe Biden has reportedly been in circles in the Oval Office for nearly 3 days straight, according to a source close to the White House. “He was looking for the exit,” our informant told us. He would…
Breaking – A train carrying chemicals arrived at its destination without derailing
Chicago, IL – Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg summoned 5,000 journalists from around the world for an international press conference today following the arrival of a train at Chicago station. “This train was carrying various chemicals and hazardous materials and…
Biden blames Chinese balloon for inflation
We applause the incredibly brave and audacious strike of the Chinese balloon by an American F-22 fighter jet, obviously after the balloon had finished traveling over the United States and had enough time to send all the nice pictures to…