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Victoria Nuland says she wants to f*** DU

Our reporters have come in the possession of a very rare 2014 transcript of a conversation between US Under Secretary of State for Political Affairs Victoria Nuland, and someone else nobody cares about.

In that infamous conversation, Victoria Nuland used the f word about an unknown individual, “DU”.

Unknown, yes, but only until our finest investigators were able to trace the initials all the way back to a Russian oligarch whose real name is “Dickitry Uranustov”. The Russian billionaire appears to be in good shape and has a solid reputation among the fairer sex.

When asked to comment on these allegations, Victoria Nuland replied that “You have have no idea what the fairer sex is because who really knows what a woman is ?”. She continued by saying “there is an ongoing investigation from the FBI and they know these Russians very well. My name will be cleared”.


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