Chinese President Xi Jinping triumphantly announced to Joe Biden that his balloon “was bigger than his”.

He explained to our reporters that despite the preconceptions, the Chinese balloons were “very big”, “much bigger than the American balloons” and could “hold in the air much longer”.

He explained these performances and this longevity by the exceptional Chinese quality of life, namely maintaining a good diet, doing a daily dose of sport and above all never using Tiktok.

This discipline would have allowed so many Chinese scientists to make balloons bigger and of much better quality.

President Trump commented on these claims confirming that “with him as president, Chinese balloons would never have gotten bigger than American balloons.” He explained “to know more about balloons than anyone and to be able to create the best balloons in history”.

Joe Biden answered in a very direct way: “sdmlfkjsdlfj”.