The American nation, Canada and the whole world are grateful to all the poor. We the riches, we thank you for fighting global warming. If you could be even poorer, you’ll heat less, consume next to nothing, that would be great! You are heroes.

For those who are old, sick and therefore useless, we of course think that the only good idea at this stage, in order to fight global warming, is to provide them with free assisted suicide. It is of course important to help them take this step and to help them stop this useless pollution.

We billionaires might just keep flying in our private jets, thanks to you! That is why we send our heartfelt congratulations to all the suicides and their families.

Also, to everyone who’s already died, we say thank you!