Chicago, IL – Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg summoned 5,000 journalists from around the world for an international press conference today following the arrival of a train at Chicago station.

“This train was carrying various chemicals and hazardous materials and did not derail,” the Secretary said proudly.

“We are very proud of the work done by the workers who built this line, although it has one major flaw: it was built by a majority of white workers.”

Having to calm down the journalists who were applauding wildly and shouting “Pete President, Pete President”, the Secretary told the journalists that “the text of their article would be provided to them by his services after the press conference, as usual”.